The Air

The air smells like school this morning.  It makes me think of when I had to walk through the wet grass to get to the bus stop.  I go back and forth on whether or not I would want to go back to being young. 

Talking Heads

I had a dream that I burned down the house.  Not the one I live in but a fake one only made up in my dream.  It was, for some reason, something that needed to be done.  I put dynamite in a potted tree and lit it in the house.  Afterward I watched things slowly ripple into flames.  I remember feeling scared but satisfied.  Somehow the house turned into a forest and I remembered I needed to save the cats.  I ran through heated waves of air and scooped both of them into my arms.  They made it out successfully.  I grabbed pictures of my mother and some old books. I grabbed my father's old hat and some socks.  As everyone gathered around to see I realized there was no way to recover everything that was in flames.  I could not bring myself to weep over the lost objects in my life.  When the fire was over everyone was in production.  We were making business and food and trying to reproduce some form of life that we had before. When I woke up I realized I missed the ocean again.  As for you I realized you were in the house.

Storm

You were dark like that storm when we pulled in that night.  You were frightening and unpredictable with flashes of light in those blue eyes.  Your heart beat was like the thunder when I laid my head on your chest, and then you rolled away from me like the wind.  Why did you hurt me so?  I prayed to the sea and the sky.  I prayed to the stars to let me in on the secret that would shine in on your cold heart.  I begged with my eyes, and pleaded with my lips.  I spilled open while you slept offering my salt to the Earth's salt.  You were so cruel like bitter wind that my cheeks and lips were left red and chapped.  So I said goodbye to the ocean and you.
Now here I am with one more crack in my heart.  You are gone and I don't ever want to do this again.

Tender Little Hearts

It is time to see red.  I see your lips hiding under those blue eyes.
You simple creature you...what shall I do with this body of yours?
What shall I do with these pieces of your broken heart?

I kiss under your chin breathing in the fumes that only last a day.
My favorite spot to kiss on your hip, I miss.
Someone as simple as the air making it difficult to breathe?

Little red hearts are dancing in the windows with sparkles,
Paper letters titled "Be Mine" in the hands of children,
Be Mine.

If you could only see the importance of your arms,
the comfort of your warm skin.....
I would make us kids again.

Shake your hand, kiss your lips, throw my arms around your neck,
I would ask you to check YES.
I might even kick you in the shin.

How am I not Myself?

The dark just fell on me today.  I was lying very still on a tiny white couch in my room watching the sun set on the wall.  Three candles pierce it now and this bright ass computer screen.  The sounds from the sky outside remind me of home and lonely spring evenings.  I am finally happy to be alone again.  It took some coaxing and maybe one half of an old friend of mine.  In my room finally in my dark, dark room I have made time stand still.  I played myself like a violin. Where are you tonight?  Finally I don't care anymore.  This warm silky shell is what I had really been missing.  Just me being still listening to the clear night sky. The Cancerian Crab returning to the safety of her fluid dark shell.  "How am I not Myself?   How am I not Myself?   How am I not Myself?"

Picture of a boy.

I have this picture of a boy with his gun.  He is walking out of the shade into the sun.
Standing far enough for an ample throw.  I should have discarded it a long time ago.
His hips are cocked to the side and his knees pressed tight.
His teeth are ground in a grin and are shining white.

His yellow headband mimics Tommy Lee Jones. When I think of him my lonely heart groans.
His cowboy shirt he wore just for me. What a stellar fucking boy where could he be?


It rhymes. =D

Crystal Blue

Something like this can make you lose your mind.
I am so badass that is doesn't matter right now.
You cannot stop kissing that one spot.
Drive faster I need the momentum.
Who is to say that it is wrong to steal from her.
I would steal you a thousand times.
I have listened more closely to the heartbeats of friends.
Walking alone is painful again.
I am never afraid of anything.
I am afraid all the time.
Are you lonesome tonight?
Elvis was the King.
I cannot come.
Why can't you just come over?
I have a ghost watching my every move.
So do you.
I think David Bowie will save me.
David sings about Infatuation.
Something like this can make you lose your mind.

Campbell soup. WTF This isn't poetry.

I broke my coffee plate this morning.  It was just a white saucer with the word Coffee written all around the inside rim in brown letters.  I have tried to glue it and what patience it takes to fix something that shouldn't be important to you.  I could just go buy a new plate, or use a different one I suppose.  But I think we forget to take time with things that are important to us even if they are already broken in the end anyway.  I am learning patience and how much whiskey my body really can tolerate.  Maybe that is why the plate broke it was tired of watching me ruin my coffee with whiskey. I want you back.  I want to not burn inside my own skin.  This is stupid.  I was so great at doing this on my own, alone.  Now you have opened the door and I can feel everything.  Damn it.  All the good things that I have ever wanted are wrapped in the wrong packaging.  Distorted yes but aware of the truth that is my body and my empty limbs.  WTF. I want you back even though I only had you for a second. No longer than a breath is what you spent with me it seems now.  So do I try to fix what there is or walk away?  I cannot fix your heart.  But should I spend time trying to salvage something for the both of us to have?  I do not know any answer to any question.  All I know is I want you back. Should I believe what they say that you are not worth my time?  They say that I should use you and abuse you like some sad little toy.  This makes me miserable.  My heart was made to love and love is what it does.  I cannot provide more misery for someone who is so heartbroken already.  In my daydreams I imagine things working out so beautifully and I tell myself to just be patient and believe. I want you back.

Wait

You stopped in front of me and slid your hands around my waist.
I felt your stomach press against mine, and you were warm.
You looked me in the eye and said "Do Something."
I leaned forward bringing my lips close to yours.
You smelled good and clean.
I dipped my head to the side not ready to break the excitement before the first kiss.
You laughed and kissed me quickly on the neck.
"You are beautiful," you said and walked away.
Then you were gone leaving me to wait yet another day.
One more day between you and I and a kiss.
Fuck.